Across the Way
by SkyChasingDreamer
Summary: It sort of helps sometimes to be able to look across the way and see Gintoki there doing something so normal, so human, like reading the paper or making himself something to eat. But that doesn't always apply since Hijikata has caught Gintoki dancing around the apartment to loud music with a feather duster in his hand and a white headband around his forehead. GinHijiGin. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Across the Way

**Pairing**: GinHijiGin

**Rating**: NC17

**For**: Lavi /GRINDS AGAINST

**Disclaimer**: No

**Across the Way**

**or**

**Leave the Window Open and Keep Your Mouth Full of Smoke**

Hijikata wakes up like he always does and the first thing he reaches for is his pack of cigarettes. It's part of his ritual and there's just something about waking up knowing he'll have to deal with the day that makes smoking right away a priority. It's something he has gotten so used to that he gets really cranky if he misses it for any reason, it just ruins his whole day. He gets out of bed and walks over to his window seat, the window itself already cracked open to let cool, fresh air inside. He tends to keep it open all the time, only closing it when it rains and the wind blows in just the right way to drive the water inside.

The window seat is easily the most comfortable thing in his whole apartment, but that might just be his biased opinion since it's his favorite place to sit. He sleeps on it sometimes, the only problem is that he's a restless sleeper and being on a seat doesn't end well for him because he ends up with a lot of cricks in weird places. He sits on it now and sighs contentedly as he adjusts a couple of the pillows to suit his current needs. He lights his cigarette and takes a deep breath, already starting off his morning right.

Out of sheer habit, his eyes stray to the apartment directly across from his. His neighbor over there is a... lively fellow – and he uses the term neighbor in the lightest sense considering they live in different buildings. It's dark in Gintoki's apartment and Hijikata honestly can't say that that's normal at this hour. It hasn't been mentioned yet, but it's six in the morning, the sun is about halfway up and thankfully not shining directly in Hijikata's eyes. Anyway, Gintoki has the most fucked up sleeping habits Hijikata has ever witnessed in his short twenty-six years. Gintoki is up at the weirdest fucking hours and he does the strangest shit, Hijikata can't make heads or tails of the guy.

And just to be clear – Hijikata doesn't spy, he's not that kind of man and he finds little interest in the existence of others, but he does find himself looking into Gintoki's apartment more than once everyday. Only because it's literally right across the way and he has nowhere else to look when he smokes or spends time in his window seat. Gintoki has been living there for three months and Hijikata has to, however grudgingly, admit that he's a step up from the old spinster that used to live there. And also just to be clear – he and Gintoki aren't friends, they can barely be considered acquaintances.

They've run into each other twice before, once at a nearby cafe and once in passing down the sidewalk. Gintoki would have walked with him when they'd passed each other, but Hijikata had sped up and ducked out of sight after he'd glanced back and seen Gintoki debating it. A cafe is where they'd met, which is pretty normal, but nothing about Gintoki is really _normal _from what Hijikata can tell. Hijikata had been in there stocking up on the blackest of black coffee beans and Gintoki had gotten a frappe. Hijikata only remembers because the fucking thing had been so disgustingly wrought with sugar content that the pure horror of it had seared itself on Hijikata's poor brain and it will stick there until he dies. The frappe was also Hijikata's first clue that Gintoki is no ordinary many, but a really fucking weird one with terrible taste in food.

Aside from that, there hadn't been anything really significant about the meeting. Gintoki had approached him and said he looked familiar and lo, he'd put together that their apartments face each other. Hijikata had recognized Gintoki right away from all the times he'd seen him through the window, but no, it'd been a lot more amusing to watch Gintoki struggle and play a guessing game to figure it out. From that point on, the experience of their meeting had turned sour because for the love of god, Gintoki wouldn't just shut the fuck up. Hijikata had never invited him to speak to him or to keep speaking and... actually, there's nothing inviting about Hijikata at all, so he _really _doesn't know why Gintoki had yammered on and on about the dumbest stuff.

But ever since then, things changed, though, Hijikata hadn't noticed at first. Just little things, like, it used to be that Gintoki's window would be mostly covered with the ugliest drapes Hijikata's has ever seen, but now Gintoki is suddenly at his window a lot more and the drapes stay pushed aside whether he's there or not. He'll appear every now and then and smile and wave and without fail, Hijikata just ignores him until he goes away. However, Gintoki has never been deterred and usually just smiles before one of them wanders off.

He's fucking weird.

In a way, Hijikata can almost say he has gotten to know Gintoki a little via window watching. He has seen Gintoki bring lovers back and though Hijikata isn't interested, he never looks away, why should he? There's no reason for him to move away from his window just because Gintoki doesn't close his for privacy when he somehow manages to find someone willing to sleep with him. Hijikata has seen a lot of different things, like how Gintoki will lift his partner for the night up and carry them off and he has also seen Gintoki chase them to the room, shedding clothes the whole way – idiot likes to laugh, apparently. It's of no matter to Hijikata, but it's kind of like watching a TV show, but in real time. There's one time Hijikata still swears he saw Gintoki look back at him before being tugged into his room by his shirt, but he'd had a lot to drink that night, so it probably was just his imagination. Aside from lovers, he has seen Gintoki yell at someone on the phone and throw his arms around like a child having a temper tantrum. He has seen Gintoki get up with the sun and, he can't prove it, but he has a hunch he has seen Gintoki get up well into the afternoon.

Overall though, Hijikata doesn't pay too much attention to the guy. They exist and sometimes interact at a distance, but that's it. He doesn't know why he's wasting time with any of it, it's more just another useless thing he has to deal with. Hijikata would even forgo his window if he could, but he has grown too used to the seat and the sill and getting the fresh air. There's cigarette burns all over the sill and a tray in the corner that he cleans his cigarette butts out of every few days. His fingers are nicotine stained and there's always a lingering satiation of tobacco, he's a cloud of smoke, basically, and he just... really likes his window. It's his territory, a place he can mark up and make his own.

His apartment is tiny, one bed, one bath. There's a small kitchen, a living room, a closet, a pantry, his bedroom, and that's all. He has no complaints, it works for him and anything bigger would be pointless and go unused. Hell, he could get rid of his kitchen and still be able to function just fine since he tends to stop and get fast food on his way back. He has a thing for grease and anything doused in mayonnaise will suit his needs. He doesn't cook, doesn't really know how other than microwaveable things and coffee, and he really doesn't know why he has a TV when all he turns it on for is the weather channel.

He finishes his cigarette and stubs it out, eyes glancing up to Gintoki's apartment. It's dark and hasn't shown any signs of life for days now. Maybe he's staying with a friend or a lover or something, Hijikata really can't care and it's none of his business. He yawns and stretches, his back cracking and he lets out a satisfied sound. It sort of helps sometimes to be able to look across the way and see Gintoki there doing something so normal, so human, like reading the paper or making himself something to eat. But that doesn't always apply since Hijikata has caught Gintoki dancing around the apartment to loud music with a feather duster in his hand and a white headband around his forehead. Has he mentioned that the guy is really fucking weird?

Whatever.

Hijikata takes his time smoking his next cigarette, he usually has two or three, and then he's up and getting ready for work. He gets a plain gray shirt with short sleeves out of the bureau on the other side of the bed and tugs on some jeans. The jeans are snug, he needs new ones, he has had this pair for years, but they're his favorite pair and he doesn't care if he has outgrown them a little. He goes to the bathroom and brushes his teeth while his coffee brews itself – he has it set to a timer so he doesn't have to think about it in the mornings – and he brushes a comb through his hair to get it in order. He'd fallen asleep right after his shower last night, so his hair is a little messier than usual, but it's an easy fix.

Done, he goes into the kitchen and pours his coffee into one of his two portable cups that have lids. He's yawning as he leaves, making sure to lock the apartment up on his way. The hall is slightly dirty and the elevator is out of order, but the place hasn't been renovated in years, so it's no surprise the place is slowly falling apart. He's yawning again when he gets outside and he sips at his coffee as he walks. It takes fifteen minutes to walk to work if he doesn't stop, so he hasn't ever felt the need for a car when everything is within walking distance.

It's just another day, same as the one before. He greets people who call out to him with a nod of his head and makes his way to his desk. He works at a police station, but he's a pencil pusher and sits at a desk all day filling out and filing paperwork. It's not very complex, but it's a job and it pays the bills and it gets him through the day. He'll do an interrogation when it's required of him and helps out his brother, since he's an officer, whenever Tamegoro asks for it. He's good at what he does and he raises no complaints – except maybe when Sougo gets on his fucking nerves. Kondo is typically the one that puts an end to those disputes and... that's really the extent of Hijikata's day.

Today is a quiet one and he isn't bothered once since most everyone else is out on patrol or following up leads. Hijikata has lunch – a bag of chips he got from the vending machine – with his brother and he listens to Tamegoro talk about his wife and how the TV stopped working because a squirrel had eaten through a power cord. He always likes spending time with Tamegoro and not just because they're the only family they have left. He genuinely loves and enjoys his brother, he's a good man and one of the only people that doesn't piss Hijikata off.

After lunch, the afternoon goes by pretty quick, Hijikata never runs out of things to do. He likes being kept busy, it's something he thrives on, and the place is never lacking in paperwork. It's after work that Hijikata finds himself having problems. The day finishes and even though he'd stayed late like he always does, he doesn't feel all that tired. Usually so much paperwork – it's a Friday, there's _always _extra paperwork the day before the weekend – tuckers him out to the point he can barely think. But today he feels more or less fine, his eyes hurt, they sting, he's just not mentally tired enough, which isn't good. Worse, he doesn't work tomorrow. He used to work weekends too, but suddenly there was a policy that employees need to take one to two days off per week, so, Hijikata can't come back until Sunday.

Sighing, he finishes up the last of what he wants to get done and heads out. He regrets not grabbing his jacket, with the sun going down it's rather chilly out and the hairs along his arms stand on end. It's only when he's halfway back to his apartment that he realizes he forgot his cup and that's... really annoying. Sometimes the simplest things can piss him off and put him in a foul mood, he'll never claim to have much patience for anything except his family, namely, his brother that he's intensely protective of.

Given that he's not tired and has nothing to do and is now in a mood one step away from homicidal, he stops in at a bar. It's one he goes to from time to time, though, he can't say he goes enough to be a regular. It's one of the few people can still smoke inside of and today he's just craving something that will take the edge off. Usually cigarettes can do that, but sometimes they're just not enough. He doesn't talk to anyone while he's there and he only stays long enough for a half a pack of cigarettes, a shot, and two glasses of beer.

When he stands, he concedes he might have had a little too much to drink because his first step is wobbly. He goes to the bathroom to take a piss, his bladder is close to bursting, and that's how he definitely knows he had a bit too much. He's mentally applauds himself for being able to aim and not pee outside the toilet, but he has to lean pretty heavily against the wall to keep himself upright. Not his proudest moment ever, but... really, it's not like he cares, plus, there's no one there to see him. Flushing, he staggers his way to the sink and washes his hand – it will not be discussed how much water he accidentally splashes onto himself.

He hiccups as he leaves and it takes all his concentration to be able to walk. He knows he has a flush in his cheeks and nothing should be spinning, but everything is. His head is foggy and he has to thank instinct and repetition for taking him the right way to his apartment. It's a miracle he makes it to the building and as he pulls his keys from his pocket to let himself in a side door, he makes the mistake of glancing up. Gintoki is sitting on the edge of the sidewalk across the street and Hijikata cusses when they see each other and Gintoki stands up. Focusing on the keys, Hijikata fumbles with them and tries to find the right one so he can get inside before Gintoki shows –

"Afternoon, mayora!"

Hijikata hisses like his soul is coming out of his mouth. "Din't I tell ya not t'call me that?"

"Yeah," Gintoki replies and takes the keys to fiddle with them until the one Hijikata needs is picked out. "This one might work better than the mayo bottle keychain. Your key is kinda identical to the one I use over there," he points to his complex, "you don't need to glare at me like that, you know."

There's alcohol on his breath, Hijikata notices, and he knows it's not himself because he doesn't drink whiskey. He tries the key and has trouble getting it into the lock and Gintoki isn't helping. Why is he standing so close? Hijikata pushes him with his shoulder, but the fucker doesn't budge. He pauses with the key and slyly peers at Gintoki, glaring right at his chest. He has seen Gintoki take off his shirt before and the guy has actual muscles where reason dictates he should have flab from all the sugar intake.

"What d'ya want?"

"Nothin', I guess."

Hijikata hiccups and – eureka! – gets the key in the lock as he growls, "So what're ya doin' here?"

"Locked myself out of my apartment."

"No spare?"

"Landlord is out and the guy who has my spare is halfway across the world."

Hijikata tries to open the door, but Gintoki's foot is in the way so it can only open so far, not enough for Hijikata to slip through. It's flustering and bothersome and troublesome and there really is no honest to god reason why Gintoki needs to be standing so close and crowding him.

"Choose better friends," he snarls, ready to punch the bastard.  
Gintoki puts his arm on the wall and blocks him in. "I'm trying to."

Hijikata gives him the best glare he can muster. "Move yer foot."

"No."

He's smirking, why is the asshole smirking? Hijikata tries to open the door again and makes sure to slam it as hard as he can against Gintoki's foot, but he still doesn't budge or even give any indication that it hurt. He's still leaning in, invading Hijikata's space and it makes his skin crawl. He hiccups again and tries stomping on Gintoki's foot, earning a wince, but Gintoki remains where he is and _laughs_.

"Wanna know something, Oogushi-kun?"

"That's not m'name!"

Gintoki leans in and Hijikata freezes, a hand balled up at his side ready to strike. The bastard keeps leaning in until his lips are brushing Hijikata's ear and any other time, Hijikata would have clocked someone for doing this, beaten them to a bloody pulp for daring! But he's stock still instead, face scrunched up from glaring and trying to see straight and when had his hand risen to touch Gintoki's chest?

"You look like you could use a good fuck," Gintoki whispers, his breath hot and wet against Hijikata's ear.

There's a shudder that ripples down his spine and the next breath that comes from his mouth is unsteady and choppy. Heat slams into his face and also into the pit of his stomach – it has been a long time since he has even thought about sex. It's the booze, it _must _be the booze, because all it takes to make him let out a little moan is Gintoki lightly biting on his earlobe. His fingers curl in Gintoki's shirt and he's disgusted with himself, but he knows he's going to give in. He's not gay, but he has slept with men before and without a goddamn doubt, he could definitely go for a good fuck right now. It's dangerous, he doesn't know enough about Gintoki to warrant sex, but that's part of the allure, it's part of how much Hijikata doesn't care.

Gintoki's lips skim the curve of his jaw, not kissing, just touching, his breath warm against the cool air. Hijikata can feel his hard body under his hand and the doorway seems too small for them both, like Gintoki is taking up all the space, filling the void. That's what Hijikata wants right now, it's why he'd stopped for a drink, and when Gintoki's hand curves around Hijikata's hips, it's over. His inhibitions become completely thrown as he wraps his arm around Gintoki's shoulders and turns his head until he feels those lips against his own.

It's sloppy and rough, it's not meant to be anything else, and Hijikata finds himself being backed up through the doorway into the building. There's a strong arm around his waist that's keeping him close and he hears the jangling of keys, but he's not thinking too much about it. He grabs onto Gintoki's shirt with both hands and yanks him toward where he knows the stairs to be. He trips more than once, but the arm around his waist doesn't fail in keeping him on his feet.

They break apart at the mouth only when there's the sound of a door closing loudly up above, but Hijikata doesn't pause to look up. He turns and goes up the stairs, but he only makes it up one flight before Gintoki has him pressed into a wall and is kissing him again. This would be more annoying if Gintoki weren't such a good kisser – though, Hijikata can't be sure of that just yet seeing as he's inebriated and any kissing would probably be considered good kissing at this point in time. He lets himself be kissed into the wall and sinks a hand into Gintoki's hair – what kind of man has red eyes, anyway?

"What floor?"

It takes Hijikata a few seconds to process the question while lips kiss down his neck. "Mmm... fifth?"

A deep chuckle and hot breath. "You sure?"

Hijikata hits his shoulder for that. "Yeah."

Gintoki nods and pulls away to push Hijikata up the stairs first. He has a hold on Hijikata's hip as they stumble up and Hijikata hisses when lips touch the back of his neck. Fuck, it's like Gintoki is everywhere somehow and he can't keep up with it. Gintoki presses up so close behind him, it's amazing they can even walk at all, and Hijikata's face can't get any more heated than it already is. He trips over a step and Gintoki staggers with him, but his hands, his _fucking _hands, tighten and keep them both upright. The squeezes feel good, Hijikata almost hopes they'll leave bruises, he doesn't mind that kind of roughness in a fling.

Hijikata stops in front of his door and slaps a palm against it, announcing that they've arrived. Gintoki pulls out Hijikata's keys and unlocks the door for them, barely able to get them back out once the door is open. The second they're through it, Hijikata gets lifted off the ground and he's quick to wrap his legs around Gintoki's waist. He barely knows this man and right now, he doesn't care, he really just doesn't. Gintoki's attractive enough and whether or not he'll be a decent lay has yet to be determined. It has been so long since Hijikata has had a one night stand and the thrill of it has always been something along the lines of intoxicating. There's so much danger in letting a complete stranger into his apartment, but it's a risk he's going to take because goddamn it all, this feels good.

It's escapism, it's letting go, it's surrendering, it's dipping into territory that should be traversed with caution, and Hijikata throws himself into it head first. That's weird for him, he's usually more logical, usually thinks things through, but not right now. Gintoki's lips are plump and soft, so unlike his own chapped lips from licking them so often and smoking as much as he does and it just _feels good_. It's what he wants, what he needs to satisfy himself for now, and he'd gotten so caught up just kissing Gintoki that he's surprised when he's thrown down on the bed.

His legs are still wrapped around Gintoki's waist, which pulls him down too, and he pulls at the bastard's shirt until he takes it off. He runs his hands down Gintoki's muscled stomach and cups his crotch, the heat and hard line of his cock making him moan. Lips are back on his and he's ready, more than ready, to be fucked into the mattress, fucked until he can no longer muster the energy to move his body, and Gintoki feels like just the right person to give him what he needs just for now, just for tonight.

**To Be Continued**


	2. Chapter 2

**Garbage and Trash are Legitimate Terms for Feelings**

Hijikata wakes up slowly, the ache in his back the first thing he feels. He runs a tired hand over his face and sighs, thanking all the things that his bed is empty and he's alone. His head kind of hurts, but overall, he feels _good_. He has hickeys all over his body, a few bite marks, too, and all the aches make him arch his back with a pleased hum as he stretches. His hand brushes a bite mark on his lowest rib on his right side and it's so deep it damn near drew blood and Hijikata doesn't mind one bit. Despite being a general idiot, Gintoki is a fantastic lay. Thank god he's gone though, Hijikata isn't into that morning after crap.

He reaches for his cigarettes like he always does, but stops halfway... there's a voice coming from the kitchen. It's low, he recognizes it as his brother's and he suspects he's on the phone with someone. But then Hijikata's blood turns to ice when he hears a second voice, lower and less familiar. His heart skips a beat in panic and he hurries out of bed, forgetting completely about his sore ass and aching body. He almost falls and grabs his back, wincing against the pain as he hobbles to the bureau for clothes.

"Goddamn fuckin' asshole bastard and his stupid big cock – gonna fuckin' kill him –"

He keeps grumbling to himself as he frantically tries to dress and he only ends up putting on a robe before checking his appearance – making sure those pesky hickeys can't be seen – and heading out. And of course, there's Gintoki sitting with Tamegoro at the small kitchen table drinking coffee and chatting like they've done this a thousand times.

"Morning!" Gintoki greets and Hijikata, dumbfounded, not knowing what to do in the face of this, shuffles over to pour himself some coffee.

"Hey, hey, little bro!"

Hijikata makes a growling noise and waves halfheartedly as he hides his expression by turning his back. The smell of coffee is strong in the kitchen and when he reaches for his mug, he has a favorite mug he always has set out for the days he doesn't work, he... twists back to glare at Gintoki who's talking so easily with Tamegoro.

"You've got my mug."

Gintoki stops mid-sentence and glances at the mug in his hand. "Do I? My bad, but this is your apartment, aren't all the mugs here technically yours?"

"Shuddap."

Lips pursing, Hijikata uses a different one and it pisses him off that his routine has been broken. Not just because of the mug, but he hasn't had his morning cigarettes yet and there's a stone sitting in his gut.

"You wait right here, gonna use the restroom, and then tell you all the reasons why you're wrong about this coming football season."

"I am wrong about _nothing_!" Gintoki retorts with a laugh and Hijikata is ready to break the bastard's neck.

Storming over once Tamegoro is out of sight, leaving his barely touched coffee on the counter, he grabs Gintoki's shirt and hauls him to his feet.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Currently having some coffee and enjoying some company. Your brother is very pleasant... what happened to you?"

"No. Not that. Why are you still here? And – and fuck! What the fuck have you told him?"

"Well, you were still sleeping and I was getting ready to go when your brother came in. Naturally he asked who I was, that's what big bros are supposed to do when they find a stranger in their little bros apartment, ne?"

Hijikata hits him. "Fuck you! What'd ya tell him?"

"Mostly the truth." Hijikata raises a hand to knock his fucking teeth out, but Gintoki squeaks and grabs his wrist. "Wait, wait, wait! I told him I'm your neighbor and got locked out and you let me stay here! Mostly the truth, yes, it is!"

Hijikata closes his eyes and relaxes his arm. "So... he doesn't know we slept together?"

"I didn't specify. Pretty sure he assumes I slept on the couch." Gintoki glances in the direction of said piece of furniture. "But to be honest, it looks like garbage. Did you get it off the side of the road, what's up with that thing?"

"There's nothing wrong with my couch," Hijikata says, still glaring. Letting him go, Hijikata slumps into a chair and grabs his mug. He doesn't drink, it's just something warm to hold onto, but then he remembers that it's not his mug right now because Gintoki hijacked it, so he kicks Gintoki's shin. "Gimme my cup."

Gintoki stands up to get it for him and Hijikata actually does take a sip of it because his headache has only gotten worse. He needs a cigarette, but he wants to wait until his brother leaves, he doesn't like to smoke around him.

Gintoki's still standing behind him, but he doesn't realize this until warm lips touch the back of his neck and the bastard is whispering, "Feel that hickey on your chest?" Hijikata freezes and stiffens. "The one just below your collarbones? I sucked that into you before I got up and even asleep, you _liked it_."

"D-did not!" Hijikata replies sharply in a low voice and strikes his elbow back.

Gintoki grunts and steps away just as the bathroom door opens and Tamegoro comes back. Hijikata's doing his best to keep his face from heating up any more than it already has and promptly downs some of his coffee. He can _feel_ the hickey without having to see it, it has a little throb to it that's synonymous with his rapid heartbeat. He sips his coffee as inconspicuously as possible, but can't hide the way his leg is bouncing irritably up and down beneath the table.

"Sorry, I should be heading out, rain check on that chat?" Gintoki says, downing the rest of his drink and taking the mug to the sink.

"I understand, do what you need to," Tamegoro replies, retaking his seat. "I can school you on sports anytime of day."

Gintoki laughs and reaches over to shake Tamegoro's hand. "I'll make you rue those words, but take care until then."

"Yeah, yeah, nice meeting you."

"You, too!" Hijikata jumps when Gintoki's hand lands on his shoulder and gives it a squeeze. "See ya around, Oogushi-kun!"

"That is not my name!" Hijikata yells, but all he gets in answer is a laugh as Gintoki leaves through the door.

After a long pause, Tamegoro says, "So... Gintoki seems nice."

Hijikata rubs both hands over his face and makes a disgusted noise. "He's a disaster."

"Really? I kinda like him. Good of you to let him stay the night."

"Never again. He can sleep in the middle of the road for all I care." Removing his hands, he eyes his brother. "Why're you here, anyway?"

Tamegoro drinks more of his coffee. "Picking up something for the wife nearby, thought I'd drop in. Glad I did, you're usually up before no and you don't typically reek of booze."

"It was a late night."

"By yourself?"

"Yeah, til that bastard showed up."

"Ah. Here I thought you'd made a friend."

Hijikata sends him a look thick with the most repulsion he can muster. "If you knew him, you wouldn't be saying that."

"No? He seemed nice enough... has terrible taste in football, though. Where does he live?"

"Building across the street."

"Oh, wow! I thought it was just a different floor or down the hall, but a whole building away? You sure you're not friends?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Really no that big a deal, his window lines up with mine." He downs some more of his coffee and he's itching for a cigarette. "Shit – wait! Not a word of this to Sougo!"

Tamegoro tips his head from side to side in deliberation. "I'll keep my mouth shut, but only if you promise to be nice to Sakata-san if you ever do see him again. He really seemed like a great guy."

Hijikata grinds his teeth, but nods, he can't deny his brother anything. They talk some more after that and Hijikata relaxes into the familiar flow of conversation. They talk about work and how Tamegoro won't be around on Monday because he's going on a trip to give a speech at a school in a different county. Tamegoro is great at those things, giving speeches, representing the department, Hijikata has so much respect for him. Everyone who meets him does, even Gintoki probably does already, that's just the kind of person Tamegoro is. But that gene skipped right on over Hijikata because he's definitely more the short tempered snarly unapproachable type.

Tamegoro stays for another half an hour or so and Hijikata sees him off, ignoring any and all comments about his robe. He takes a shower once he's on his own and he makes it quick so he won't dwell on all the marks covering his body. He felt better after cleaning the sweat and dried cum off himself and sighed as he changed into jeans and a plain tee.

Hijikata then spends the rest of his day off annoyed and mostly homicidal. He can't stay still, so he leaves his apartment even knowing that means he'll have to deal with the rest of the populace, which he isn't happy about. He doesn't have to talk to anyone though, so he consoles himself with that and lets his feet do the walking. He ends up at the park and he's not surprised by that at all. It's about a twenty minute walk from his apartment and he doesn't go often enough to say he frequents it, but he does go enough to say he has a spot. He meanders to it every time he's there, it's a good place for him to clear his head and he can smoke in peace without worrying about bothering anyone with the smell.

Within the park, there's a large pond, it's pretty, its water clean and maintained. Ducks, swans, and geese swim about and koi lurk just below the surface, scouting the murky depths. He'll feed them sometimes, bring some bread with him to toss at them. His spot is just off the pond under a cluster of trees where there's no bench, but he uses the overgrown tree roots as a seat and he can lean against the trunk of one of the trees.

Big Bertha.

He named the tree.

He seats himself there and lights up another cigarette – he must have had at least four on the way – and that's about the time his phone goes off. Taking it out of his pocket, he stares at the screen with pinched brows, not recognizing the ID Ian Cognito. Flipping his phone open, the text reads: _Just washed your cum off my thighs._ Gargling, Hijikata looks at the name again and growls. Ian Cognito. Incognito.

It's Gintoki, that fucking natural perm idiot!

Another text draws Hijikata's gaze back to the screen: _Oh, yeah, this is Gintoki._

A third text buzzes through while he's still staring: _By the way, I added myself into your contacts while you were sleeping. Post hickey. _

Hijikata is so close to throwing his phone that he's shaking. Instead, since he happens to like this phone – it's his third one in a year – he closes it with a hard _snap_ and takes a few deep breaths. He finishes his cigarette, lights up another one, intent on chain smoking the whole day. Who does that bastard think he is? God, Hijikata wants to rip the guy's fucking face off! He makes nice with Tamegoro, drinks out of Hijikata's coffee mug – fuck him!

He leans his head back against the tree and idly watches the pond, letting it help calm him. Even now, his body still aches and it's a hard thing to overlook. He feels it in his ass the most, but the bite marks are a very close second. Then there's the hickeys sucked into places all over his chest and back, but he's not actually complaining, as far as lays go... Gintoki, though annoying and mostly intolerable, wasn't bad. The best Hijikata has had in a long time, actually. And it's surprising things worked out the way they did.

Hijikata will maintain that he's not gay. At most, he's bi, but overall, he's just really not into relationships, so his sexuality doesn't need to be defined. He has slept with woman, he still does every now and then, and he'll sleep with men if he feels like it. Gintoki had presented an offer at a time when Hijikata was inebriated and timing is literally everything.

He smokes his cigarette slowly, eyes closed, as he thinks back to what he remembers of the night before. He can recall in pretty vivid detail how Gintoki had fucked him senseless. Fast and hard, relentless – Hijikata could do little more than cling onto him with every ounce of strength he had. He likes to think he left some deep gouges with his nails on Gintoki's back, but he doesn't remember seeing the potential damage afterward or this morning since Gintoki had already been dressed.

There had been no foreplay last night, it'd just been raw, quick, but the _kissing_, that hadn't been so bad. Gintoki, even drunk – or maybe because he was drunk – knows how to kiss. It'd been sloppy and messy for the most part, but Gintoki was so lively and interactive. He'd been everywhere all at once somehow, or so Hijikata had felt.

Gintoki is also pretty well hung, he knows that's not something he's making up. That bastard's cock had filled him up and how had Hijikata cum? Prostate stimulation – among other things. That _never_ happens and it's probably just a fluke Gintoki's dick not only found it, but the angle to pound into it, and Hijikata had cum so fucking hard. He'd moaned and thrashed and Gintoki pulled his hair and forced him into kisses.

It'd been great.

He really hates to give Gintoki credit for anything, but... that had been one excellent fuck. Only because of the alcohol, he's sure. He doesn't care that he'd bottomed, he kind of prefers that role since it's less work. Another thing he can't discount is that Gintoki had taken care of him. Moron knew what he was doing, though, Hijikata hasn't ever really been a fan of spit as lube. Sure as hell hadn't bothered him at all last night when Gintoki had sucked on his own fingers, then used them to stretch Hijikata. Not every guy does that, take the time for prep. Gintoki might have been rushing – no thanks to Hijikata who had been telling him to hurry, hurry, _hurry_ – but at least he'd done it. Hijikata would be a lot more uncomfortable right now if he hadn't been prepped right.

That was all they'd done, one fuck and boom, spent. Hijikata remembers smacking Gintoki some, grumbling, lots of grumbling, and then he'd fallen right to sleep. It's strange and a little unsettling that he hadn't woken up when Gintoki had apparently gotten out of bed, dressed, and greeted Tamegoro. What the hell had that even been? But... Hijikata _does _appreciate that he hadn't lied to Tamegoro, merely given him enough information to satisfy, but not enough to fib. Hijikata doesn't abide by lying to his brother and it... says something about Gintoki that he hadn't lied. That had been almost tactful, something Hijikata would have believed to be out of Gintoki's capabilities.

It's all moot now, Hijikata is done. He really shouldn't have slept with a complete stranger like that, he got extremely lucky it worked out okay. He thinks he should maybe check his apartment and make sure nothing got stolen, but he kind of thinks Gintoki isn't into that stuff. He may hijack Hijikata's phone to put his number in, he almost might not be above raiding the fridge, but actually stealing things that might be worth something or have sentimental value doesn't fit him somehow. Not that Hijikata really _knows_, it's just a feeling he has.

He stays at the pond for awhile, it's a nice day and he's enjoying the time to clear his head. Mostly, he reflects on the night before, one of those things where he lets it run through his head before he lets go of it for good. Once he leaves the pond, he won't be dwelling on this any longer. Standing up, he brushes himself off and cleans up his cigarette butts, putting them in his portable ashtray.

Hijikata is slow on the walk back to his apartment and so distracted every step of the way. He stops at a corner convenience store to get more cigarettes and since he's a creature of habit, this is the store he usually stops at unless forced somewhere else. He knows the little old lady behind the counter and she always saves him a couple packs if the box is running low and the next shipment isn't in yet. He always asks how she is and she, more often than not, answers with something entirely unrelated. He thinks she might be hard of hearing, but sometimes he gets the feeling that she does it just to fuck with him. She just has that look in her eyes every once in awhile, like this is the biggest joke to her and Hijikata has no problem with that.

He gets his smokes and gets back to his apartment where he unwinds by doing some cleaning. He strips his bed to wash his sheets, rid himself the filth and the smell, but then he makes a mistake.

His mistake?

He looks out his window.

And just about fucking dies.

Wrong! He'd been so wrong! The bastard _does _steal shit because there's Gintoki, that _fucking _natural perm, strutting around his apartment wearing only a pair of blue boxers.

_Hijikata's _blue boxers.

"Oh, you asshole," he seethes. "Stole my fuckin' underwear, ya goddamn gen –"

His phone goes off and he pulls it out of his pant pocket to read a short three word message: _Like the view?_

Letting out a loud yell, Hijikata really does throw his phone and doesn't care that it smashes into the wall and leaves a dent. Slamming his shades closed, he goes on a rampage, determined to clean every fucking inch of his apartment. Had that fucker been waiting for him to show up? Had he been parading around in just the boxers all day?

"Fuck you!" Hijikata screams and bunches up his sheets, ready to burn them and just buy new ones.

-o-O-o-

Three days later finds Hijikata sitting at his window seat after a long day at work. He's smoking a cigarette slowly and has the days paper open up in his lap for him to idly read. The apartment across from him is dark and he hasn't seen Gintoki since the boxer incident. He hasn't been around, not that Hijikata has been watching for him or anything, just making sure the bastard isn't going to show up anywhere. To be honest, he's been kind of paranoid, always looking for that shock of white hair and his heart leaps in his chest every time he thinks he sees a glimpse of him. He has hated it, Gintoki is so unpredictable and the last thing Hijikata wants is him showing up somewhere, anywhere, but especially at work.

He's a lot more relaxed now, work has left him pretty drained and he's just enjoying a few smokes before he gets ready for bed. There's nothing really note worthy in the paper, just regular news and little stories to fill it up. He likes reading that stuff, the normal stuff, the stuff that lets him forget about the rough shit he sees come through the police department on a regular basis.

But then, of course, there's a knocking on his door.

Grumbling, he gets up after stubbing out his cigarette, it'd been at the nub, and heads for the door, calling, "What d'ya want?"

"It's me, open up!"

Hijikata gets to the door and double checks to make sure all the deadbolts are in place. "No! Go the fuck away, asshole!"

"Aww, haven't you missed me?"

"Are you high? Or drunk again? Hell, no, I haven't miss your dumb ass!"

There's light little tapping on the door, like a goddamn dog scratching, wanting to be let in. "Just lemme in, I wanna talk to you."

"No! Go away, you piece of shit!"

"I can stay out here all night, I've got nowhere else I need to be."

"Of course you don't! Who would want a good for nothin' like you around? Get lost!"

"I wanna discuss terms and conditions!" Hijikata rolls his eyes and Gintoki keeps talking, words getting louder. "I still wanna sleep with you, but it's probly good we set up some ground rules fi –"

Hijikata flings the door open, hurting his fingers on the locks he's moving so fast, and drags Gintoki inside by the front of his shirt. "Keep your fuckin' voice down, asswipe! I don't want the whole fuckin' complex to know I did anythin' with you!"

Gintoki laughs and Hijikata shoves him into a chair before going back to peek outside the door. No one has opened their doors, which is good, so Hijikata slowly and silently closes his and doesn't lock it merely because Gintoki will be leaving soon.

"I get to sleep over if I want."

"_What_?"

Gintoki puts his arms on the table and links his fingers. "I get to sleep over if I want."

Cautiously, Hijikata sits across from him and pulls out a cigarette to light up. He has a lot of things to think about and consider and not a lot of time to do it in. Since he _is _a cop, he can threaten Gintoki with an arrest for assaulting an officer or something, but he really doesn't want anyone to know they've had any kind of sexual relations. And then there's the pesky fact that Gintoki is one hell of a lay, but that shouldn't be a factor at all, especially when Hijikata can't stand the guy. There's one positive he will give into and that's that it's convenient. It's not easy to find someone he can have sex with and have no strings attached afterward that also won't cost him any money. This... is a deal he's... goddamn it, he's willing to at least hear these terms and conditions.

"I'm gonna repeat myself a third time, in case you missed it the first two times. You're looking a little lost over there. So, here goes, get ready for it – I get to sleep over if I want."

"Is the walk across the street too much for you?"

Gintoki rolls his shoulders, seeming pleased he got a response. "Maybe? Maybe I don't wanna have to get changed and leave every time."

"You can..." Hijikata huffs and digresses, "have the couch."

"No, I get to stay in the bed."

"Absolutely not!"

"I'm not asking for that much!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Am not! You can even put up a partition between us, I don't care! But I'm not going to sleep on the floor or on that piece of junk couch!"

"Ugh – fine! But only if we do everything here!"

"Deal."

Hijikata blinks, he hadn't expected Gintoki to agree to that one so fast. "And... and no meeting or seeing each other outside of this apartment."

Gintoki chokes on his spit. "_What_? You've gotta be kidding! I contest that! At the very least we should be able to have a drink or two together if we want! And what if I see you on your day off at the cafe we go to, are we just supposed to ignore each other? Pretend we don't know each other?"

"Yes."

"No! How 'bout... okay, what if we kinda take that one as it comes? Obviously I'm not gonna be stopping by your work to say hi, but there's no reason we can't get a drink sometime."

Hijikata won't say how fucking glad he is to hear that, it puts some paranoia to rest.

"I'll agree to that if you agree to not come up to me if I'm with other people. Ever."

"Even your bro?"

"Especially him, bastard!"

"But I like him!"

"I don't care!"

Gintoki frowns, but inclines his head. "Fine, okay. So... why don't you tell me the rules since you kinda have a better idea of what you don't want."

Hijikata glares at him and contemplates stubbing his cigarette out on Gintoki's skin. "I don't want this at all."

"Liar," Gintoki replies with a smirk and it succeeds only in pissing Hijikata off.

"Alright, you piece of shit, here are the fucking rules. We fuck only if I feel like it. You're allowed to stay in my bed overnight, but I retain the power to kick your ass either out of my apartment entirely or out onto the couch. We don't see each other outside of this apartment. And we only have sex, nothing more. I don't wanna hear you takin' a shower or some shit, ya got that?"

"Woah, hold on! The seeing each other in public thing, we can go to a bar or something if we want to! Pretty sure we just agreed on that, kinda."

"You're pushing it," Hijikata growls and lights up another cigarette.

"Am not! I can agree to only doing stuff here, I can even reluctantly agree to only having sex if you feel like it, but if there's a game on, why can't we meet up at a bar to have a few drinks and watch?"

"M'not into sports."

Gintoki stares and then his shoulders sag and he waves a flippant hand. "Okay, no seeing each other for anything outside of this apartment if you're gonna be such a little priss about it. But instead, you have to answer at least one of my texts each day."

Hijikata's brows pop up. "Are you going to be texting _every _single day?"

"No, but on the days I do send something, you have to answer at least one by the end of the day."

"Fine. But only questions. You seem like the kind of moron to text about the weather or a bird shitting on your window and I ain't answering that crap. Now, listen up, are you listenin'?" Gintoki meets his gaze and nods, almost genuinely interested. "The moment either of us is done, it's over. There's no negotiating this one."

Gintoki's expression is unreadable. "Uh... okay... well, what about other people?"

Hijikata takes a drag. "What about them?"

"Are we allowed to sleep with other people?"

"Of course, dumbass! Like I give a fuck! But two things – first, you sleep with anyone else, you get yourself tested to make sure you're clean. And second, I'm not your fucking booty call. Don't be texting or calling me anytime after midnight to see if I'm in the mood for a fuck. I work six days a week and won't have the energy to deal with your lame ass a majority of the time."

"Oh... alright. You're clean, right? I hadn't thought about that."

"Ugh! Yes!" He shoots Gintoki a _duh_ look, but then squints at him. "You?"

"Yeah! I'm careful. Usually use a condom, too, but that night... whoops."

"As long as you're clean, I p-prefer without. A condom, I m-mean."

"Good, I do, too."

Hijikata's face is red and he looks at anything but Gintoki as he finishes off his cigarette. From his point of view, there's nothing else to discuss. They fuck at his place, on his schedule, when he's in the mood, and they don't see each other outside of this. He doesn't have any qualms with that, but obviously he'd rather not have to answer any of Gintoki's texts or let him stay the night ever. In the long run, those are probably small prices to pay for some excellent sex that's monetarily free.

"We're done here," Hijikata says, stubbing out his cigarette and standing to get the bastard out.

"Huh? We're not gonna..."

"No!" Hijikata pulls him to his feet. "Go, get – no! Wait, one thing."

Gintoki gets pulled back and Hijikata kisses him without preamble while he has the initiative to do so. And suddenly, god only knows how long it'd been, Hijikata has been lifted so he's sitting on the corner of the table with Gintoki pushed between his legs. There's a hand in Hijikata's hair forcing his head to stay in place and tilted up. He's panting, his jeans are too tight because his cock is already half-hard, and his fingers are digging so hard into Gintoki's shirt that they ache.

"F-fuck, we're done," Hijikata snaps, shoving at Gintoki whose eyes are unfocused and that's makes Hijikata push at him all the more.

"What? Seriously?"

"Seriously! Get going! M'not in the mood!"

He stands up on wobbly legs and shoves Gintoki out the door, then makes a point to lock every bolt for Gintoki to hear. He runs a hand through his hair and stalks through his apartment to his window where he paces around, watching and waiting to see Gintoki cross the street to make sure he's gone. Once Hijikata sees him, he's letting out a loud, frustrated sound and plops down on his ass, knees to his chest, in front of his window seat.

"Fuck you," he whispers vehemently and runs a hand over his lips.

So, it turns out, bastard _can _kiss. Sober. The kissing hadn't been a fluke, so... it's likely that a certain thing involving his ass hadn't been a fluke, either.

"Oh my god." A pause as it sinks in, then he's throwing his head back against his seat, yelling, "_Fuck!_"

What has he gotten himself into?

**To Be Continued**


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: I was really hungry when I wrote this. I'm sorry._

**Indigestion, Heartburn, Poor Sleep, and Mood Swings Are Symptoms of NPP**

**AKA: Natural Perm Problems **

Hijikata wakes up and goes right for his cigarettes to start his morning right, he refuses for this to be a bad day. He's going to get back on his routine and everything is going to be fine. He smokes two after moving to his window seat and already, he feels more in control of himself. It'd taken him a long time to fall asleep, so he's a bit tired, but he doesn't have anything to worry about. He's going to get himself back on track and do his work and not let anything get to him. He feels good by the time he's stubbing out his final cigarette of the waking hours and he groans as he stretches, his body no longer aching like it had.

Wandering into the living room, he makes a pass by his plant and picks up the cup next to it. He always keeps a cup there that's partially filled with water for just the purpose of watering the thing every other day. It's a simple plant called a Pothos, it has large, flat leaves that are all green with tan variegation and it doesn't produce flowers. He doesn't know why he got it, but it's probably the easiest plant to keep alive aside from a cactus. It just takes a little bit of water every now and then and can survive in low to medium lighting, which works for him since he's not at the apartment for most of the day.

He changes into what he wants to wear for the day and heads out to get to work – after getting his coffee, of course. It's early enough that the morning air is crisp and helps to liven him up. He's starting to think it's not going to be a bad day, that things will just fall back into place like they should. He gets to the station and goes to his desk, pleased to find some paperwork already there. This is good, this is going to be fine. He sits, he sips his coffee, he prepares for the day.

Everything is fine... until Hijikata hears the pop of bubble gum and he swears his heart fucking skips a beat. He looks up and there's Sougo already standing pretty much right next to him chewing that obnoxious gum and Hijikata's stomach just _drops_.

"There's been something different about you lately, Hijikata-san."

"There's never anything different about me."

"Today there is! There's a certain glow about you... like there's something you're not telling me."

"Don't fucking flatter yourself, there's a lot I don't tell you for obvious reasons," he growls and tries to hide himself within the pile of paperwork in front of him.

"Yeah," Sougo leans in closer and Hijikata glares. "But you're hiding something, I can tell."

"Am not!"

"Ooo, outright denial. Definitely hiding something." Sougo pops his gum again and Hijikata hates that he almost winces. "What could it be, I wonder?"

Hijikata's fingers twitch for a cigarette. "You're full of shit, there's nothin', shrimp."

"You know I'm gonna find out," he whispers with a little smile and god, even his eyes are glinting.

"Get lost! I've got work to do and I'm sure you do too!"

"Alright, alright, I'm gone! See you later..."

Hijikata's skin breaks out into goosebumps and he shudders once Sougo's back is turned. He _always_ knows when Hijikata has something he doesn't want to talk about. Even when they were kids, Sougo could always just _tell_ and the part that really fucking sucks is that he has never failed to figure it out.

And just like that, he's paranoid all over again, only now, it's even worse than before.

-o-O-o-

For almost a week, Hijikata has been keeping himself busy, busy, busy. He's not supposed to, but he's been taking his work home with him. He'd been banned from that for months and so far he has managed to keep himself from doing it... until now. He's doing everything he can to appear more normal, more routine, how he _always_ is. He's early to work, ready to get started, he takes his smoke breaks, he goes straight back to his apartment, he keeps to himself.

He's paranoid as fuck.

He keeps expecting to look over his shoulder and see Sougo following him or find Gintoki heading his way. He hasn't really heard from that permy bastard and he hopes it stays that way. Hijikata doesn't need sex very often, that one romp will last him awhile and it's not like he has any sexual cravings that he can't take care of on his own. He's too busy to have any of those kinds of bodily needs, anyway.

He feels like he's always looking around, watching his back, glancing up at doorways, startling at little sounds. That's not like him at all. He's usually so much more in control and nothing can phase him! Now? Now he's a pathetic mess and he... really can't say what the deal is. He has never been at all vocal about his sexual exploits, but he has also never cared if anyone found out about someone he slept with. Maybe he's totally paranoid about Gintoki because he has already met Tamegoro, lives nearby, and unlike anything Hijikata has ever done before, Gintoki might be a continued lay, not just a one time thing.

Gnawing on his lip, he finishes up at work and it's late, already past seven. It'd been a regular day, nothing noteworthy except that he hadn't had lunch with Tamegoro. He had the day off, so Hijikata had just kept working, declining the invitation to eat with Kondo knowing that Sougo would likely be there too. He's trying not to make his avoidance tactics too obvious, but he's probably failing and Sougo likely knows it.

Cussing softly, Hijikata slides a stack of papers into the shoulder bag he brought with him. He probably won't get to them tonight, but that's okay since he has a forced day off tomorrow. He makes sure to take plenty of work to do in that day and slings the bag over his right should when he's ready to go. It's a nice evening, so the walk back to his apartment is almost enjoyable and it's easy for him to space out. It's the hour where people have recovered from their long days at work and are ready to go out, which provides plenty of opportunities for people watching. However, he mostly just stares at the cracked sidewalk in front of him until he's in his building and making his way up to his place.

Yawning, Hijikata makes sure his door is locked, then starts stripping as he heads for his room, dropping his bag by his couch. He takes off his shirt and unbuttons his pants, pausing only when he catches sight of Gintoki's window through his own. The light is off, but he still closes the shades before finishing with his clothes. He tosses them in the hamper and walks into the bathroom, ready for a hot shower.

He turns on the faucet and pulls the lever for the shower head to come on, then waits until he sees steam coming off the water. He steps inside and hums at the heat, pleased and getting more comfortable now that his muscles have begun to relax and unwind after his long day at the desk. Sitting that much can't be good for him, but it's work and it's his job, so that's that. He takes his time washing his hair and spends several minutes just standing under the water, thinking of nothing as he lets it rinse him off. But he doesn't stay in there too long, he has a water bill to think about and he's notorious for overindulging when it comes to hot baths or showers.

Shutting everything down has him shivering right away and he quickly reaches out for his towel to start drying himself off. Even dry and out of the shower, he's still cold and he puts on the first thing he finds, which is his bathrobe. The last time he'd worn it is when Gintoki had been over, so the donning of the rob doesn't exactly bring good things to mind. And that right there, that's annoying. He likes this robe and goddamn it, he's not going to let some asshole like Gintoki ruin it for him. So, mainly out of spite, he doesn't go to his room and change, but keeps it on and parades it around like he's giving the universe the finger.

First thing he does when he's out of the bathroom is go over to the thermostat just inside the living room and turn the heat up. It's not cold out or anything, he just likes and needs a lot of heat. He pays mega bills for it in the winter time, but he has to or he won't function. A lot of people think he's at his worst when he comes into work without his morning cigarette, but there are those who will never forget the day Hijikata came in without having had his morning cigarette in the winter when the building heater had busted for the night.

That was a very dark day.

Luckily, where he lives geographically, the winters are very short and there's never too much snow. He wouldn't survive in a place that got too cold or snowed too much, he'd just wilt and freeze and never move again.

He wraps his robe tighter around his shoulders and shuffles into the kitchen to make himself some dinner. There's nothing in the fridge except a mostly empty container of mayonnaise and that's about it. He finds bread on the counter, but it's moldy and he can't eat any of his spices in his little wooden rack next to the fridge. His stomach growls and he can feel himself getting cranky, why hadn't he gone shopping? He'd meant to go... yesterday? The day before? He doesn't know and it doesn't matter, fact is, he'd meant to go and never made it.

"Fuck."

There's nothing to be done, so he grabs his ashtray off the table and takes it to the sink to wash it. On second thought, he treks back to his room and gets the one off his windowsill as well since it's getting to be on the dirty side. He washes each one and dries them on his sunshine yellow hand towel – a gift, definitely not his first choice – and puts them back in their original spots.

His stomach growls hard enough to hurt and he growls right back at it, hoping to shut it up. No such luck, of course, but it was worth a shot. He can always order in and call a local pizza place to deliver, but he really doesn't want to shell out the delivery charge. He also very much doesn't want to put clothes on and venture out to hunt down some chow, he's done for the day. He just wants to eat, maybe read a little, have a smoke, then go to bed. Simple, easy, he just needs the food and the rest will follow.

"Gonna check again," he mumbles and does just that, looking first in the fridge and next in all the cabinets.

Nothing, not even a crumb.

Defeated, he retreats to his room and grabs his cigarettes before curling up on his window seat. He pulls the drapes aside and opens his window as per usual to let the smoke out. He lights up with the vague and distant hope that smoking will somehow make his stomach stop snarling, but he's a fool and he knows it. The nicotine helps, but it doesn't alleviate his pains, much to his own physical distress.

His eyes land on Gintoki's apartment again and it's still dark like before. Is he sleeping? It's a bit early to be sleeping, but who knows with a guy like him. He can't really remember the last time he'd even seen Gintoki or the lights on over there... three days? Maybe four? It's not like he's counting, that's just a guess. Getting up, he grabs his phone and returns to his seat, his contacts open with Ian Cognito highlighted on it. He doesn't want Sougo to find out and all he knows, that runt is conveniently sitting outside staking out his place. But... he _is _hungry and he's too lazy to go out... his hunger here is sort of overriding his paranoia and the whole thing is a long shot anyway.

Before he can change his mind, he selects text message and types out, _Get me food and I'll let you in. _Snapping his phone shut, he goes back to smoking and already he's berating himself, regretting ever sending the thing. So, it's a huge fucking surprise for him, surprise enough to make him nearly drop his cigarette, when his phone goes off not five minutes later.

The text reads: _Can I call?_

Hijikata messes with his phone for a solid minute before his stomach convulses and he makes the command decision of selecting Gintoki's name through his contacts again and pressing the green call button.

"_Good evening, neighbor!_" Gintoki greets and Hijikata almost hangs up.

He really does. His thumb is on the red button, ready to kill the line.

But his stomach seems to fold in on itself and it hurts enough for him to put the device back up to his ear, replying, "Can you pick something up or not?"

"_That's kinda why I wanted to call because yeah, I can, but I can't really text right now. See, I've sworn off texting and walking, it's dangerous. Almost ran into a baby carriage once! There was no baby in it, but it's still too risky_."

"Where are you?"

"_Walking, I'd kinda mentioned that already. But I'm just a few blocks from your apartment, it'd be easy for me to pick something up. I haven't eaten yet either, thanks for asking._"

"I figured you'd volunteer the information regardless and obviously I was right. What places are around you?"

"_All kinds! I could stop and get us a pizza –_"

"Fuck that," Hijikata interjects, "it'd take too long."

"_Want me that much, huh?_"

"That's presumptuous, don't be gross. What else is there?"

"_Uhm... what're you in the mood for?_"

"Just fucking list what's around you!"

"_Ohoo! Temperamental tonight, I like it!_" For the second time, Hijikata almost hangs up, but then he hears, "_There's the Arab place up ahead. The one that has the really good shawarma and falafel._"

"I've never been there."

"_Holy shit, really? It's fantastic! You've gotta try it!_"

"Not in the mood! Keep listing!"

"_Mark my words, you _will_ be trying that place sometime. But, okay, let's see... ah! How about a sandwich?_"

"What kinda sandwich?"

"_Any kind, I guess. I know the guy in the food truck and I've never seen him come across something he can't make. If you're open to recommendations, he makes a mean reuben. He does burgers, too. And he usually has stuff on hand to make gyros._"

Hijikata all but groans into his phone. "A burger... god, that sounds so good. All greasy and fattening and juicy..."

"_I can't tell if you're starved or have some really weird kinks._"

"Starved, a-asshole!" He flushes and gets a fucking grip on himself. "You're getting me a burger! What kind of sides are there?"

"_He has fries_," Hijikata nearly moans, but bites his tongue in time, "_coleslaw, green beans, grilled corn, pasta salad in this really great dressing he came up with, fried pickles, onion rings, and... and I think that's it. Oh! No, wait, he has beans, too. Not the green beans, they're refied._"

"Fries! I need fries and the onion rings!"

"_Sure, what do you want on your burger? Besides ludicrous amounts of mayonnaise._"

"Chee – wait, how do you know I like mayonnaise?"

"_Your brother may have mentioned it._"

Hijikata silently cusses, but shakes his head and orders, "Cheese! Lots of cheese! Pepperjack, if he has it. Onion, tomato, lettuce... what else can he put on there?"

"_Bacon –_"

"Yes!"

"_Okay, and there's jalapenos, mushrooms, roasted peppers, and different toppings like goat cheese, guacamole, pesto, fried egg, grilled eggplant, any of those sound good?_"

"No, just a good old fashioned bacon burger works for me." His stomach twists in on itself and he has to hold it with an arm. "With lots of mayo."

"Y_eah, definitely got that last part. How do you like it cooked?_"

"Medium rare, I like the middle pink."

"_Got it! I'll be there in... fifteen or so? I can pick up some beer on my way, too_."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever you wanna do. Just say my order back to me first so I know you really got it."

He hears Gintoki clear his throat dramatically before relaying in a terrible announcer impersonation, "_Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, my cranky neighbor requires a bacon pepperjack cheeseburger cooked medium rare with lettuce, tomato, onion, mayo enough to drown a city, and a side order of both fries and onion rings. That sound about right, oh, bastardly one?_"

Hijikata's mouth waters. "Fine – er, good. Hurry your ass up!"

"_Sure, sure, be there soon!_"

Snapping his phone shut without answering, Hijikata gets up to find things to do so he won't obsess over how much his stomach hurts. He fiddles with things and picks out his outfit for the next day, setting it out on top of his bureau. He then changes out of his bathrobe into something simple, shorts and a tee, and... it's no use after that. He finds himself right back on his window seat, staring at the sidewalk below, looking for any flash of stupid permy hair. He knows he shouldn't be eating so late, the grease will probably keep him awake, but fuck, a greasy burger just sounds so fucking good.

"Where the fuck are you, moron?" Hijikata seethes under his breath and checks his phone again. "Sixteen minutes! Move your fatass, m'starving!"

At the eighteen minute mark, Gintoki rounds the corner and Hijikata gets up to pace around in the kitchen. He has his arms crossed as he passes back and forth in front of the door, waiting, waiting, waiting – _the knock!_

He flings the door open, snarling, "What the hell took you so long?"

Gintoki just smiles and pushes his way inside, handing Hijikata the bag on his way. "Told ya I was gonna pick us up some beer. Plus, I started chatting with my friend and got a little sidetracked."

Hijikata mumbles something incoherent as he puts the bag on the table and tears into it. He finds his burger and grabs his fries and onion rings and plops right down in one of his chairs to _devour_. He picks up his burger, it takes both hands to do so, and moans when he takes his first bite. Juice spills down his chin and there's this satisfying crunch from the bacon and lettuce and his eye can't help but flutter shut as he chews because there's creamy mayo all over the damn place.

"Really starting to think you've got some weird ass kinks," Gintoki says and Hijikata hears him sit down. "This little container is yours. My friend made it special when I told him of your mayo affinity. I don't know what it is, but he thought you'd like it."

When Hijikata opens his eyes, he sees a couple open beers on the table and he zeroes in on the container. Taking another huge bite of his burger, he sets it down – wiping his chin with the back of his hand – and opens the thing as he chews. What's inside looks like mayonnaise, but it also kind of looks like there's stuff in it, small chunks of... something. Swallowing, he dips the tip of his pinky finger into it and licks it off, pleasantly surprised to find that it's mayo, but there's a bit of kick to it.

"It'll do," he says as he dunks a set of fries into it and gobbles it up.

"Help yourself to my sides, too." Gintoki pushes them forward and he tosses napkins and utensils next to them. "Got different ones than you so you could try them. This is seriously my favorite food truck in this area!"

Hijikata rolls his eyes, but grabs a plastic fork and tries the pasta salad. It's good, the Italian dressing really tangy, but not too sweet and the noodles aren't too firm. Leaving the fork in the bowl, he grabs a fried pickle and dips it into the mayo before consuming. He really, honestly thought he wouldn't like it, but he does. Probably because he's so hungry, but so far everything is tasting like the best food he has ever had.

Glancing up, he points the fry he has at Gintoki's food. "That a reuben?"

He's mid-chew, but he nods and holds it out. "Wanna try it?" Hijikata pauses and his nose curls a little, but Gintoki just snorts, then laughs. "Are you fucking kidding me? Just take a damn bite! If you tell me we can have sex, but can't share food, I'm gonna get you in touch with a psychologist!"

"I'm sure you know a bunch of them," Hijikata snarks, glaring. Annoyed, he reaches out and takes the stupid half of the sandwich that's being offered to him. He hasn't ever had one before, but it looks good enough, though, he's not sure if he'll like the sauerkraut, but he's willing to give it a try. He turns it so he can take a bite on the side Gintoki hasn't gotten to yet and ignores the loud snort he hears. "Mm!" He hums, surprised once against. "S'good."

"Right? It's that thousand island dressing that makes it! I don't know what he does to it, but it turns these things into something else!"

Hijikata finishes chewing and takes a swig of beer. "That Swiss cheese?"

"Baby Swiss, regular Swiss isn't creamy enough to melt like this."

He doesn't know why they're talking food and he doesn't care as he takes another swig of his beer and consumes everything in his path. He demolishes every bite of his sandwich, making the most pleased sound when he finds that the center of the burger is stuffed full of cheese as well, and he doesn't leave a single fry or onion ring behind. He licks the small container of the mayo concoction clean and picks at Gintoki's sides, not even realizing until now that they've been sharing a fork the whole time. That's what gets him to stop eating and he finishes off his second beer – he doesn't know where it procured from, but he's grateful for it – and sits back with a heavy sigh.

"Full?" Hijikata nods and lets out another sigh, ready for a cigarette to cap it off. Gintoki finishes off what's left of the food before sitting back as well and letting out a belch. "Me, too."

It's now that Hijikata actually takes Gintoki in, what he's wearing and how he looks. He's dressed pretty casual in jeans and a yellow striped button up shirt, the sleeves folded back so they're just below his elbow. He doesn't look bad necessarily and it's comforting that he looks like he has actually taken a shower within the last twenty-four hours. Shaking his head, Hijikata stands up and starts gathering trash, feeling somewhat awkward now that he has nothing else to do since his hunger has been satiated.

"How've you been?" Gintoki asks. "Besides hungry."

"Fine."

"It's okay to elaborate a bit more when someone asks you that," Gintoki goes on, collecting the empty bottles. "You recycle?"

"Yeah," he opens the cabinet hiding the yellow trash bucket, "here."

"Oh! You never said how I looked in your boxers."

"About that, you dick!" Hijikata rounds on him, grabbing his collar so it bunches up tight at his neck. "You steal anything from me again, I'll throttle you."

Gintoki pushes at him, already laughing. "C'mon! It was just a harmless joke!"

"Stealing is a crime!"

"Then why don't you cuff me up and have your way with me, officer?"

Hijikata's cheeks inflame. "Stupid! Who'd wanna d-do that?"

"Me," Gintoki replies without missing a beat. "I'd very much enjoy seeing you trussed up."

His mouth is suddenly very dry and his fingers start to go slack. "Y-you're into that stuff?"

"What do you mean by 'that stuff'?"

"M'not gonna specify."

Gintoki sighs and steps closer, close enough that their bodies are almost touching. Hijikata doesn't back down and instead stands firm though his shoulders pinch up and his fingers loosen even more. This close, it's hard to miss just how red Gintoki's eyes are and that's unsettling somehow, unnatural.

"Fine, I'll lay it all out for you. Yes, I'm into that stuff." Hijikata's back touches a wall – when had he backed up? – and Gintoki's right arm rests on Hijikata's shoulder so his hand can brace against the same wall. "I'm into ropes and ties and toys, I'll bend you til you think you're gonna break and choke you til you're so close to passing out you're seeing stars. I'll bite you til you bleed and hold your cock so tight you won't be able to cum until I fucking let you. _That _is what I mean when I say 'that stuff.' Does that sound okay or should I take your panting as consent?"

"Fuck you," Hijikata hisses, snapping his mouth shut and glaring. He wants to deny that his breaths have quickened, but the evidence is obvious, so there's no point even trying. He can feel a heat in his gut, all that stuff... there's not one of those things that doesn't appeal to him. "That sounds... acceptable. I guess."

Gintoki hums and Hijikata hates how he can't tell what the bastard is thinking. "Safety word is banana hammock."

"What the fuck? I'm not saying that!"

"Oh? So you do want a safety word. What should it be, then?'

Hijikata frowns so hard his face hurts and he amps up on his glare. "I-it's important to have for that s-stuff!"

"Right, so, again, what word or phrase do you want?"

"I d-don't know..."

"Potato? Dungeon gangbang? Platypus? Orange pudding? Any of these striking your fancy?"

"I am literally never saying any of those when I'm in bed with you or anyone else."

"Then choose something! Ghost in the blender! Hickory chopsticks! Pushup bras! You could yell out something like boobies for all I care!"

"I... really don't know."

"Well, you said you don't like sports, so maybe just yell out any sports team?"

Hijikata's face flares up even more and he looks away guiltily. "About that... I kinda lied."

"So..." Gintoki's head tilts, "you do like sports?"

"Sorta? I like to watch, but I'm not a fan of any one team, I'd just wanted you to shut up about going out for drinks and shit."

"Oo, sneaky, sneaky, Oogushi!"

"Not my name!"

"Alright, jeez, no need to yell. I've still got you pinned right here, yelling is overdoing it."

He can feel his neck heat up along with his face. "Stay on track, bastard."

"I'm trying! But now I'm excited! You like watching sports, that's great!"

"Still not going out with you!" A slow smirk spreads across Gintoki's face and Hijikata splutters, pushing him away with hard shoves and hits. "S-shut up! God – fuck! You're s-so annoying! Get out!"

"Aww, I get you food and you kick me out? How is that fair, hah?"

"I said I'd l-let you in if you got me somethin'! That's it, no more!"

"Don't be like that," Gintoki says, coming up behind him and grabbing on before Hijikata can make his escape to his bedroom. "Surely we've figured this out enough to have us some sex? You do _kinda _owe me."

Hijikata narrows his eyes at the floor and digs his nails into one of Gintoki's arms. "What if m'not in the mood?"

Gintoki frowns against his shoulder, but presses in closer and starts kissing up Hijikata's neck. "I'd ask what can be done to get you in the mood."

Hijikata leans his head back and cusses Gintoki's lips. "Maybe you should figure it out for yourself."

"Doesn't seem like I'm doing a bad job so far," Gintoki replies between feather light kisses along Hijikata's pulse point.

Swinging an elbow back into the bastard's gut, Hijikata yells, "No marks!"

"Kissing doesn't leave marks!" Gintoki replies with a wheeze and his arms get loose enough for Hijikata to wriggle out of them.

"Don't care! This is another condition! No m-marks anywhere that can't be covered by clothes!"

"Fine," Gintoki huffs and Hijikata doesn't get a chance to say or do anything because Gintoki is on him.

Those arms are back around him, that body pressed up against his, and they're moving. He's glad he doesn't have to do any navigating, he can just flop his arms around Gintoki's shoulders and let himself be pushed to where they're going. He'll still grudgingly admit that Gintoki is a somewhat okay kisser, which is about as much as he's willing to admit. He finds himself on the bed moments later with Gintoki pushing between his legs on top of him. He helps the bastard out of his shirt and gets their mouths back together because it's so much easier to just not think when they're kissing. Gintoki's hands slide up his sides, bunching his shirt up until he gets annoyed enough to raise himself up so it can be removed.

"Feel good?"

Hijikata grunts as their bodies come together and snaps, "Did you talk this much last time? Jesus, shut the fuck up!"

"I said _one thing! _And you were sure as hell easier to kiss last time!"

"I said s-shut up!"

"I would if you'd chill the fuck out! It's like trying to kiss a board!"

"Why do you know what that's like?"

"I don't! But if that ever happened, I'd imagine it'd feel a lot like this!"

"Okay," Hijikata hits him, "get up, get off, we're not doing this, it isn't working."

"Oh, quit. Just relax," Gintoki says and Hijikata glares at him, but the truth is that the words actually help. "You're thinking too much." But then he's not thinking at all when Gintoki kisses him again and he can feel himself start to relax – he honestly hadn't thought he was _that _tense, it's how he usually is, so it hadn't felt any different. "Safety word is... Otaku Prince."

Hijikata scoffs so loud it hurts the back of his throat. "Never sayin' that one either, dickhead."

"Really?" Gintoki muses, nipping along Hijikata's jaw. "Thought that one suited you."

"You're the worst." Hijikata stretches an arm out until he can get into his nightstand and pull out a small bottle of his preferred lube. "Just d-do your damn job n'make this good."

"Ah, you think I'm good, huh?"

"Do you _wanna_ get kicked out?"

"I brought you food, so... new rule! I bring you food, you can't kick me out!"

"Denied!" Hijikata puts a hand on his face and gives him a shove. "I can kick ya out no matter what and don't get it!"

Gintoki hums, frowning, and raises himself up onto his knees so he can pull at Hijikata's shorts. His face flushes, but he lifts his hips and lets Gintoki do it, thinking that the quicker they get to it, the better. While Gintoki is maneuvering his legs to get his shorts all the way off, Hijikata watches the way Gintoki's stomach muscles bunch up with each movement. If anything, Hijikata can at the very least say he has an attractive of some sort to Gintoki's body. There's scars here and there, some bigger than others, and on that looks like it'd been pretty deep when he'd gotten it. His skin is so pale, almost like he shouldn't ever be allowed to go out into the sun or he'll incinerate with sunburn. Like... like a goddamn vampire or something.

"You in the mood for any of _that stuff_ tonight?"

"No." Hijikata tips his head back and takes a deep breath to try and still his panting. "Make it quick."

Hijikata's cock rests on his stomach as a soft weight that makes him flush even more – he's already hard and his legs are spread around Gintoki's hips. He can see the bulge in the front of Gintoki's pants and he sits up, going right for the hem. He grabs on and unbuttons, then unzips the clothing, yanking them down, boxers and all, until Gintoki gets the idea and starts to wriggle out of them. They're kissing again, two pairs of clumsy hands working to get Gintoki's fucking pants off without looking.

"Rougher," Hijikata demands under his breath and right away he's being pushed down onto the bed with a biting kiss.

Nails dig into his skin and he groans, legs raising on either side of Gintoki to pull him closer until their hips fit together. A groan comes from both of them and Gintoki's already moving against him, rutting slow and firm. Hijikata's glad the lights aren't turned on, so the only source of lighting coming from outside the window that he forgot to close. It feels good to be skin on skin and once more, Gintoki's hands are all over him. A thumb runs over his nipple and his back arches, his own hands sinking into permy hair where his fingers get tangled, but Gintoki doesn't seem to mind.

"Lube."

Hijikata can hardly stop kissing him long enough to reply, "Bed... u-up..."

There's some fumbling where one of Gintoki's hands disappears and Hijikata's eyes scrunch shut tighter when he hears the cap of the lube pop open. The flush on his face deepens and he turns his head to the side as Gintoki slips an arm under one of his knees to raise his leg higher. He's more exposed this way and he can feel his cock throb between them, though, it's Gintoki's heat that's making his head spin maybe the most. He's so _warm_, the whole of him more scalding than Hijikata remembers from the first time.

Gintoki tilts back and Hijikata hisses as a hold finger is pressed up against his asshole, the lube not yet warmed by skin. But he's distracted because there's a hot mouth kissing down his chest and he can't mind so much when the finger pushes into him. It's not slow, which he likes, and Gintoki's a biter, leaving stinging pinches as a trail as he continues to make his way downward. Hijikata just keeps hanging onto Gintoki's hair and arches his back because a second finger has pushed in next to the first one. It's a little too soon, but he doesn't mind the burn that makes his hips twist slightly and head turn to the side.

"_Ahnn! _W-wait – what're _ohhh..._"

Gintoki doesn't answer the jumbled words and moans, he can't, because his lips are currently wrapped around Hijikata's dick. The heat doubles and Hijikata has to open his eyes look down, hips bucking at the sight of Gintoki sucking him off. There's no hesitancy, no waiting, Gintoki's head starts bobbing and his fingers scissor, it makes Hijikata's head thrash. He can feel a sweat breaking out on his skin and his toes curl so hard his legs shake. Gintoki's fingers are digging into his skin where he's holding on and Hijikata can just imagine the bruises they'll leave behind.

A third finger spreads him wide and he cries out softly before biting his lip. His shoulders pinch up and his stomach seizes in a spasmodic convulsion of muscle. Gintoki's head is bobbing, taking Hijikata deeper and deeper with each movement until Hijikata can feel his cock hit the back of the bastard's throat.

"F-fuck – mmg fuck! That's nnn – shit, m-more!"

Gintoki's cheeks hollow as he sucks and Hijikata's back arches so hard it comes off the bed completely. It's getting harder and harder to hold still and his fingers are twisting so much in Gintoki's hair, it has to hurt. When he looks back down, his breath hitches, Gintoki's watching him. Not a moment later, Gintoki's fingers move _just right_ and press against Hijikata's prostate. His jaw drops and his whole body jerks, a stilted cry coming out of his mouth. It's like Gintoki had been waiting to do that and that would piss Hijikata off somehow if he weren't writhing.

That goddamn mouth sucks him harder, his tongue laving the length of Hijikata's dick, and there's just no... no... he won't last! He tries to tell Gintoki this, but he can't get the words out around his moans and jesus, his eyes are rolling up into his head. There's sparks behind his eyes and he can feel nails scratching at his leg and his prostate just gets _abused_. The tight coil in his gut is about to break loose and he hadn't known he could even get off this quick! It always takes him at least twice this long to find release and now –

"Hnng – f-ucking... g-god c-cummi –"

He's cumming down Gintoki's throat, his whole body locking up while he's finger fucked for all he's worth. Tingles spread down every extremity and it's so satisfying to feel that wet heat wrapping around his cock, sucking the life out of him. It makes him hot that Gintoki swallows and the other doesn't push back against the way Hijikata's hands are literally shoving him down as far as he'll go. He's making all kinds of noises, he knows, but he doesn't care, all this stimulation feels incredible.

But Gintoki does pull off eventually, forcing Hijikata's hands out of his hair, and his dick hits his stomach with a wet sound. He can't feel embarrassed about it because his legs are being spread by two strong hands and his hips are lifted into Gintoki's lap before his cock pushes into him. The over-stimulation makes his eyes fly open wide, but Gintoki's already fucking him, leaving him to grapple until he's holding onto the bed for dear life. Their skin slaps together and Hijikata squeezes his eyes shut once more, each thrust sending him reeling. He lets out a startled yelp that turns into a groan and then a cuss – Gintoki found his fucking prostate again. He doesn't know how the bastard fucking does that!

Gintoki's hips slam in harder, his dick going deeper, and Hijikata can't stop squirming. It's pain and pleasure smashing together and warring, so potent it makes Hijikata want as much as he can get of it. He feels Gintoki move, throwing his legs over his shoulders, and suddenly they can kiss again. Hijikata goes all out, throwing his arms around Gintoki's shoulders to cling while he shoves his tongue into the natural perm's mouth. He can taste himself there and that's gross, but it doesn't put him off at all. He's so far gone that nothing can really bother him, not even knowing that he's licking his own cum from another man's mouth.

In a drawn out groan, Gintoki's hips stutter and slam in one last time. Hijikata can feel his cum fill his ass and the his breaks when he turns his head to the side, a line of spit still connecting them until that, too, breaks. His breaths are heaving, more than anything, it feels like he can't breathe at all. He can feel Gintoki's hot breath against his neck and he shudders when lips touch his collarbone, not even kissing, just touching and brushing.

"T-tissues... hng – nightstand."

One of his legs gets dropped as Gintoki reaches for it and Hijikata's breath hitches in his throat at the way Gintoki's dick moves inside of him. Gintoki pulls out and Hijikata winces, but reaches down to take hold of the tissue that's being pressed there to catch the cum. He blinks his eyes open and purposefully avoids looking at anything Gintoki, an embarrassed flush covering his face. He wipes a majority of the cum away, but still gets up and grabs his clothes on the way to his bathroom. The mirror is something he avoids as well and he makes quick work of cleaning himself out with a damp cloth. He washes his face to get the sweat off and _that's_ when he makes the mistake of looking in the mirror.

His lips are kiss swollen, his face still flushed, and his eyes are all glassy. His body feels lethargic and he's tired, like, actually tired enough to sleep, which is surprising. He doesn't want to think too much about any of it or dwell on anything, so he throws his clothes on and goes back out into his room. Gintoki is already under the covers, he's on his belly with his arms folded underneath the pillow he's using. This is the most awkward part, Hijikata decides as he makes his way over to the empty side of the bed, the side closest to the window. It's a relief when he pulls the covers back and sees that Gintoki has put on his boxers, it's easier for Hijikata to get in bed then.

"That quick enough for you?"

Hijikata startles and looks over to find Gintoki watching him. "Damn. Thought you were asleep."

"Mmm... almost there."

"So sleep," Hijikata says, settling down and making sure there's plenty of space between them. "Make too much noise and you'll be banished, don't forget."

"But I brought you food."

"You keep bringin' that up, it isn't gonna get you anywhere."

Gintoki smirks sleepily. "Could always go out next time."

"Do you not have any friends to do that with?"

"Course I do. You can meet'em if you want, I'm far less strict about the whole you can't meet anyone I know ever grrr thing."

"Why would I wanna meet any of your so called friends? How would you even introduce me?"

Gintoki blinks and snuggles his head into the pillow. "Are you... for real right now? News flash, there _is _such a thing as having a fuck buddy that you're also friends with. Arguably, you'd call that friends with benefits, but I guess it could go both ways. Like, you could call us fuck buddies with the benefit of friendship. Then I'd just introduce you to people as my neighbor friend."

"We're not friends. And I don't wanna be friends. We're not gonna meet up outside of this apartment and that's final."

"Well... if you ever change your mind, the offer is always open."

"M'never gonna change my mind, asshole. Ah!" Hijikata kicks him under the blanket. "If you ever hear someone knock, you do _not _answer! If you hear someone coming into my apartment, you _hide_!"

"Fine, but to be fair, I never heard your brother. I'd needed to change and pee – not in that order – and when I walked out of the bathroom, he was already here. By the way, your coffee sucks."

"It does not!"

"Does so. Holy shit, yeah."

"No!"

"Tamegoro even agrees with me!"

That brings Hijikata up short and he accidentally bites his tongue. "F-fuck, ouch! Wait, he does?"

"Yeah, we had to go on a hunt for some sugar, he said there was no chance you'd have creamer. Apparently you don't keep milk that isn't expired and hiding your crusty lumps of sugar in the back of a cupboard pretty much damns your soul with no chance of redemption."

"W-what else did you talk about?"

"General stuff, I guess. He talked about work like I already knew you were a cop, so I played along and that's how I found out what you do. But once we got into sport it was all over."

Hijikata grunts and he can feel the ache starting up in his lower back, but it feels kind of good. He yawns and pulls the covers up to his chin before turning his back to Gintoki. He hears a goodnight, but he doesn't respond and instead tries to sleep. He _is _tired and he doesn't think about the sex or how fast Gintoki made him cum, he just blanks out his mind the best he can.

But... Gintoki is a heavy weight on the other side of the bed and it's so distracting, Hijikata doesn't like it. He _does_ get why Gintoki implemented the rule, it sucks having to get up, change, and leave after sex. Having to walk around all dirty and gross, then getting back only to have to either clean off then or in the morning and whenever that happens, it's always more tiring. Letting the bastard sleep over isn't a huge deal, but Hijikata really doesn't like sharing his bed. He can't stretch out now, he's confined to just his side and that's it. He can't roll, he'll end up on the floor or worse, pressed up against him.

Groaning, he shoves his face into his pillow, ready to smother himself to sleep if that's what it takes. This is never going to happen again, he doesn't share his bed and a good fuck isn't worth feeling this goddamn awkward in his own apartment!

**To Be Continued**


End file.
